“A new survey of office-goers in Britain has thrown up stunning statistics. Office workers in Britain spend around 600 hours ogling at a colleague they have a crush on, the survey has revealed.
According to the study, office staffs spend almost 60,000 hours sitting at their office desk during their career. And they do a lot of things during the career to break monotony and to maintain some semblance of order.
During the entire period, they drink nearly 32,000 cups of tea or coffee and make about 110,000 phone calls, reports The Sun.
And two out of five employees end up in bed with their workmates, the study found. So much for mixing work with pleasure!
They will also write 50,000 lists of things to do over the years, receive more than 320,000 emails and have 13 job interviews. That is a lot of ambition and literary pursuit to have.
To reach the results, a total of 1,200 workers were polled."
Reported in http://www.ibnlive.com/news/office-workers-spend-600-hours-of-working-life-ogling-colleagues/72429-19.html
I am intrigued – very, very intrigued.
Firstly, who did this survey ? If it was a student , then what course actually demands such a survey ? Had I proposed such a survey in any Indian University, I would have been in the hitlist of the student unions governed by leaders who have a vast experience of student life by spending much more time than stipulated by academic requirements. Case in point is the picture of the ‘student’ leaders of All Assam Student Union .
Challenge to anyone – which of them actually look like a student ? Maybe the one in pink shirt – but he is more like a hanger on who plays ‘follow the leader’ all his life. The almost-baldie beardie was hirusite when I recall seeing his face plastered across the newspapers ages ago when I was in primary school …and, that was a long time ago…a really long time !!! He was a leader in the early eighties and is a student since then. Time has taken a toll on his headful of hair, but he still remains a student, with nothing else but his heart and soul.
Anyways, I digress.
Now had I managed to escape the wrath of these leader, surely the teachers would have directed their ire against me since academics is serious business and nowhere can I imagine proposing to do a study on how long does an office worker spend his time ogling at other office workers. School was a place where we were reprimanded for talking too much, laughing too loudly or playing too hard. In true convent traditions, we were trained to stop whatever we were doing when the first bell rang in the playground and then move as quietly as we can when the 2nd bell rang to form uniformed straight lines for an assembly where we prayed and were lectured on how we can be ‘good girls’. Once, I even remember, an hour long sermon being delivered because someone was heard calling another ‘Piggy’…well, it did seem like an hour ( I believe in the theory of relativity). I prayed the same prayers for every day of my school life, but today,I fail to recall even one prayer correctly. Not a case of memory loss, but simply the heart not being in it. Finally, when we were released to the big bad world that the nuns tried their best to protect us from, I took the pleasure, like others, of being like a child let loose on a playground filled with unimaginable toys and chocolates. However, the teachers brought us back to ground zero – briefly and at irregular intervals, I hasten to add, when we had to face the exams and write thesis in order to gain the right academic qualifications. The thesis was titled in heavy sounding words, which impressed us but which we did not understand. Titles like ‘Scattering ray phenomenon and light dispersion of gamma rays’, which we had to present as students of Physics. Of course, nothing but the uncertainity of the Uncertainity Principles now remain, but I recollect our teachers being serious individuals with the weight of the world in their shoulders, clad in dour clothing to present to the world a serious outlook of life in general and Physics in particular. No, none of them were like Sushmita Sen in Main Hoon Na.
Going back to the survey, I now want to look at the findings.
1. Office workers in Britain spend around 600 hours ogling at a colleague they have a crush on
Really ? In all my working life, I have never seen anybody ogling at anyone else and yes, I work at the City, which is supposedly notorious in all these ‘mamlas’. Maybe, this phenomenon has escaped me, utterly and completely. I am talking from the third party objective point of view, lest you think of this as a case of sour grapes.
2. Office staffs spend almost 60,000 hours sitting at their office desk during their career
This I can agree and identify with. After all, there is no other option, is there ? I can’t exactly dance and jump with joy without being dragged by HR for a Health and Safety violation.
3. During the entire period, they drink nearly 32,000 cups of tea or coffee and make about 110,000 phone calls
That much ..hmm !! Maybe, can’t vouch for it but then, like all reports, this too is skewed since it reveals towards the end of the survey that this report is based on 1200 workers and so do each worker have 32,000 cups each during their average lifetime or is it that 1200 workers have 32,000 cups in one year…a bit confusing, at best.
4. Two out of five employees end up in bed with their workmates
By that logic, a large number of my colleagues must be sharing the car pool every morning in a bid to save the environment and the office must be a ‘love’y place with so many cupids flying around. Sadly, I have never seen this happen…yet.
5. They will also write 50,000 lists of things to do over the years, receive more than 320,000 emails and have 13 job interviews
Ok…I can take that at face value. Not interesting enough…hah!
This survey was reported in the Sun, a newspaper that few would like to be caught dead with and which have a readership who is common-sensically challenged and believes that Aliens flock to Britain in large numbers of UFOs.
"BRITONS have spotted a staggering 150 UFOs this year, The Sun can reveal.
That compares with just 135 sightings reported to the Ministry of Defence for the whole of last year — and 97 the year before."
According to the study, office staffs spend almost 60,000 hours sitting at their office desk during their career. And they do a lot of things during the career to break monotony and to maintain some semblance of order.
During the entire period, they drink nearly 32,000 cups of tea or coffee and make about 110,000 phone calls, reports The Sun.
And two out of five employees end up in bed with their workmates, the study found. So much for mixing work with pleasure!
They will also write 50,000 lists of things to do over the years, receive more than 320,000 emails and have 13 job interviews. That is a lot of ambition and literary pursuit to have.
To reach the results, a total of 1,200 workers were polled."
Reported in http://www.ibnlive.com/news/office-workers-spend-600-hours-of-working-life-ogling-colleagues/72429-19.html
I am intrigued – very, very intrigued.
Firstly, who did this survey ? If it was a student , then what course actually demands such a survey ? Had I proposed such a survey in any Indian University, I would have been in the hitlist of the student unions governed by leaders who have a vast experience of student life by spending much more time than stipulated by academic requirements. Case in point is the picture of the ‘student’ leaders of All Assam Student Union .
Challenge to anyone – which of them actually look like a student ? Maybe the one in pink shirt – but he is more like a hanger on who plays ‘follow the leader’ all his life. The almost-baldie beardie was hirusite when I recall seeing his face plastered across the newspapers ages ago when I was in primary school …and, that was a long time ago…a really long time !!! He was a leader in the early eighties and is a student since then. Time has taken a toll on his headful of hair, but he still remains a student, with nothing else but his heart and soul.
Anyways, I digress.
Now had I managed to escape the wrath of these leader, surely the teachers would have directed their ire against me since academics is serious business and nowhere can I imagine proposing to do a study on how long does an office worker spend his time ogling at other office workers. School was a place where we were reprimanded for talking too much, laughing too loudly or playing too hard. In true convent traditions, we were trained to stop whatever we were doing when the first bell rang in the playground and then move as quietly as we can when the 2nd bell rang to form uniformed straight lines for an assembly where we prayed and were lectured on how we can be ‘good girls’. Once, I even remember, an hour long sermon being delivered because someone was heard calling another ‘Piggy’…well, it did seem like an hour ( I believe in the theory of relativity). I prayed the same prayers for every day of my school life, but today,I fail to recall even one prayer correctly. Not a case of memory loss, but simply the heart not being in it. Finally, when we were released to the big bad world that the nuns tried their best to protect us from, I took the pleasure, like others, of being like a child let loose on a playground filled with unimaginable toys and chocolates. However, the teachers brought us back to ground zero – briefly and at irregular intervals, I hasten to add, when we had to face the exams and write thesis in order to gain the right academic qualifications. The thesis was titled in heavy sounding words, which impressed us but which we did not understand. Titles like ‘Scattering ray phenomenon and light dispersion of gamma rays’, which we had to present as students of Physics. Of course, nothing but the uncertainity of the Uncertainity Principles now remain, but I recollect our teachers being serious individuals with the weight of the world in their shoulders, clad in dour clothing to present to the world a serious outlook of life in general and Physics in particular. No, none of them were like Sushmita Sen in Main Hoon Na.
Going back to the survey, I now want to look at the findings.
1. Office workers in Britain spend around 600 hours ogling at a colleague they have a crush on
Really ? In all my working life, I have never seen anybody ogling at anyone else and yes, I work at the City, which is supposedly notorious in all these ‘mamlas’. Maybe, this phenomenon has escaped me, utterly and completely. I am talking from the third party objective point of view, lest you think of this as a case of sour grapes.
2. Office staffs spend almost 60,000 hours sitting at their office desk during their career
This I can agree and identify with. After all, there is no other option, is there ? I can’t exactly dance and jump with joy without being dragged by HR for a Health and Safety violation.
3. During the entire period, they drink nearly 32,000 cups of tea or coffee and make about 110,000 phone calls
That much ..hmm !! Maybe, can’t vouch for it but then, like all reports, this too is skewed since it reveals towards the end of the survey that this report is based on 1200 workers and so do each worker have 32,000 cups each during their average lifetime or is it that 1200 workers have 32,000 cups in one year…a bit confusing, at best.
4. Two out of five employees end up in bed with their workmates
By that logic, a large number of my colleagues must be sharing the car pool every morning in a bid to save the environment and the office must be a ‘love’y place with so many cupids flying around. Sadly, I have never seen this happen…yet.
5. They will also write 50,000 lists of things to do over the years, receive more than 320,000 emails and have 13 job interviews
Ok…I can take that at face value. Not interesting enough…hah!
This survey was reported in the Sun, a newspaper that few would like to be caught dead with and which have a readership who is common-sensically challenged and believes that Aliens flock to Britain in large numbers of UFOs.
"BRITONS have spotted a staggering 150 UFOs this year, The Sun can reveal.
That compares with just 135 sightings reported to the Ministry of Defence for the whole of last year — and 97 the year before."
Another curious thing that intrigues me is why should the ogling survery be reported in IBN Live, a seemingly respectable portal for news concerning India ? Did we have no other news worth reporting than this piece of crap that will put even the imagination of many B Grade Bollywood movie writers to shame ?
Off I go now….to apply for a new job, in a new office where I can sit and oogle ( at the printer maybe) and work out which 2 out of 5 of my workmates spent the night sleeping together and write thousands of email about such activities while drinking endless cups of tea. Ah bliss.
Off I go now….to apply for a new job, in a new office where I can sit and oogle ( at the printer maybe) and work out which 2 out of 5 of my workmates spent the night sleeping together and write thousands of email about such activities while drinking endless cups of tea. Ah bliss.
Borrowing and butchering a line from the Great Mughal Jahangir, who actually knew a lot about mixing business and pleasure…
Gar Firdaus Bay Roo-e-Zernin-ast Hamin office asto, Hamin office asto, Hamin office asto.
Gar Firdaus Bay Roo-e-Zernin-ast Hamin office asto, Hamin office asto, Hamin office asto.
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1 comment:
hi..Rajib asked me to read your blog... This post is awesome..I liked the AASU part!!! true they r still students by "heart"!!! nice work..
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